Use this, and you'll find more words to fit into the header. as for me, well you get the point. Basically too lazy to do anything other than blogging and orkutting. and chatting. and oh ofcourse finding the most crappiest of all titles for my posts. oh and yeah, did i mention blogging?
too much time on your hands and too li'l motivation to work for your btp does that to you. anyways, here goes nothing:::
Seven things i'd like to do before dying:
1) Para gliding (I believe i can fly.. anyone?)
2) Kiss a girl. Seriously what's all the hype about... hafta find out...
3) Become my own multi-billion dollar self made man. Richard Branson-esque. (nobody said anything against wishful thinking..)
4) finish my BTP
5) own my own private jet
6) Become more original so that i don't need to think about how to fill up seven stupid things...
7) Have a li'l chat with Sam Chat and say "Hey, no hard feelings eh!"
Things that I can do:
1) Convince my btp partner anytime that i'll start work from tomorrow! (hehe.. no wonder!)
2) Go and play TT to my heart's content after i've convinced my partner! (bechara.. yeh padhega to bahut roega)
3) Think irrationally about irrational things. Like why are orkut testimonials the cause for virility.
4) span a whole vector space from a basis set. (That was just to confuse you guys. I have no idea.)
5) relate formulas and equations with anything. just for kicks.
6) waste more and more time on blogger thinking about what to fill in. these cliched items included.
7) Sit and do nothing all day.
Things that I can't do:
1) find enough motivation to do any kind of work.
2) keep a straight face when the other person's annoying me.
3) stop myself from laughing at my own stoopid jokes.
4) Coding. naah, not for me.
5) courtesy talk. the hey hows' it going doesn't seem to come naturally to me. atleast not sincerely anyway.
6) overcome my fears about change.
7) appreciate art. why? why do ppl pay millions of dollars for a random collection of geometric figures in different colours. that too on canvas as old as your grandpa's grandma.
Things I say:
1) Mammaaa....
2) Tu To .....
3) Kya bakwaas hain!@??
4) Sexy, man!
5) Nah-iiice....
6) bilkul Sahi hain.
7) kya haal hain?
Things I'd like to see in girls:
1) Quite obvious, no clarifications required.
2) sense of humour. or atleast laugh at my jokes even if you don't understand. and don't laugh when it's not a joke. srsly. that bugs me a lot more!
3) open-mindedness. atleast listen to the other's viewpoint before judging.
4) clear sense of propriety, as in what's crossing the line, and what's not.
5) intelligence. not too much, not too less. hate it either way.
6) aptitude to try out anything new.
7) a beautiful face to look at.
Celebrity Crushes:
1) Angelina Jolie
2) Liv Tyler
3) Elisha Cuthbert
4) Anna Nicole Smith (I know, I know, but then, well, you know.... ;P)
5) Emma Bunton
6) Arti Chabria
7) Sonali Bendre
Tags:
1) Mrinal
2) Raj
3) Rahul P
4) Riddhi
5) Ranadhir
6) Rahul Bhaskar
7) Mohan
yeyyeyyy!! succesfully wasted yet another 2-odd hours and even added a post to my blog! :P
April 13, 2006
April 11, 2006
Coupla things i'm feeling right now
Mad
Bad
Sad
and before this blog gets any more mind numbing than it already is, lemme make it even drier by talking math. For those of you who just turn their faces away at the sound of "math", well here's something for you. Turn your face away :P
This was something i've been meaning to post since a while.. The other day i was just thinking about something, was probably watching a movie. So then it suddenly strikes me, how similar most plots look like, if you abstract out the minor details. Lemme try and explain. I'm assuming you know what are transitive relations. if A -> B, and B -> C, then A -> C, iff -> is a transitive relation.
Now think of cause effect relations. If A caused B and B caused C, then in effect A caused C. Same goes for effect, since if A caused B, then B is an effect of A. So cause-effect relations are transitive. My first assumption. I suppose it is provable, but i'm assuming it right now.
So what do we have till now? We assumed Cause - Effect relations are transitive. Which i personally think is a harmless assumption.
By now most readers would have already redirected away from this page, but if you still wanna waste time, and still want to see where this is going, best of luck! read on, 0 courageous net-surfer!
Coming to movies, lets talk about plots. I do not proclaim to be an ardent movie-goer. Nor do i understand the art and intricacies of movie-making. But from the few movies that i have seen, what i can garner is this. That plots are basically events that happen to certain characters. Be it murder, be it alien abduction, or simply an everyday Joe getting a promotion at his workplace. or buying a burger for that matter. You always have characters and you always have things happening to them. That's what a movie is about right? (Coming to think of it, can there be movies without players/actors/characters? Even documentaries for that matter have certain characters whom they showcase. Be it the panda or downtrodden cultures. As i said, i'm no pundit on movies, ask Maruti Koppola for more info on that. tee hee i just cudn't resist taking that dig at you :P) So we have plots, and plots have characters, and events happening to these characters. An intelligent/intricate plot is one where seeming disconnected events are weaved into a fine seamless web of happening. Seems like i'm talking mostly about mystery movies. But i support my statement by saying even in comedy movies, events still happen to characters, only here these events are funny. Same goes for thrillers/horrors. Now where is this all going?? what am i writing?? if you haven't already guessed, a li'l more patience, and i think you'll see it.
What i want to say is this. That movie plots could be quantified and analysed using a math basis. Call it Movie-Calculus if you like. A plot can be said to be a network of cause-effect relations, where the elements of this network are the events in the plot. For example, Jim Carrey getting a promotion is an event in Fun with Dick and Jane. This event, say A, causes his wife to quit her job, event B. Continuing this way, there probably could be an evaluation mechanism somewhere to say whether a certain plot is better or worse than a certain other. Or maybe this mechanism can be customised to the viewers choice. Coz sometimes, as intelligent as i might be, i just don't seem to get some movies, like this. Anyways. Coming back to the point, can this be done? seems quite possible to me. I'm not, i repeat not trying to quantify emotions. impossible to say movie X is funnier than movie Y. But what might be possible is to say whether X has a stronger plot than Y, or whether lose strings are tied. That is when a mystery is solved. Like in The Face on the Wall, a short story by EV Lucas, the plot is gripping, complete, and ends when the narrator stops the narration. But the final clincher is not the story, but the end note that the narrator leaves us with.
Now supposing something like this does turn up. Something which quantifies and defies the very nature of an experience like movie-going. Would it be ethical? I mean, if something like this did come up, then imagine yourself sitting at a movie theatre, analysing the movie frame by frame, and saying to yourself Oh so A->B, and C->D, but A->D. So does B->C? is that really what we want? or will it help us screen out the hundreds and hundreds of movies that these *ollywoods keep making day in and day out? so that the really good ones can be watched and enjoyed. Does it mean that Art forms can be "Scientified"? or that science is superior to art? or does the infeasibility of such a thing reiterate the age-old dichotomy, the one between science and art? lotsa questions.. think about em and comment me :P
Bad
Sad
and before this blog gets any more mind numbing than it already is, lemme make it even drier by talking math. For those of you who just turn their faces away at the sound of "math", well here's something for you. Turn your face away :P
This was something i've been meaning to post since a while.. The other day i was just thinking about something, was probably watching a movie. So then it suddenly strikes me, how similar most plots look like, if you abstract out the minor details. Lemme try and explain. I'm assuming you know what are transitive relations. if A -> B, and B -> C, then A -> C, iff -> is a transitive relation.
Now think of cause effect relations. If A caused B and B caused C, then in effect A caused C. Same goes for effect, since if A caused B, then B is an effect of A. So cause-effect relations are transitive. My first assumption. I suppose it is provable, but i'm assuming it right now.
So what do we have till now? We assumed Cause - Effect relations are transitive. Which i personally think is a harmless assumption.
By now most readers would have already redirected away from this page, but if you still wanna waste time, and still want to see where this is going, best of luck! read on, 0 courageous net-surfer!
Coming to movies, lets talk about plots. I do not proclaim to be an ardent movie-goer. Nor do i understand the art and intricacies of movie-making. But from the few movies that i have seen, what i can garner is this. That plots are basically events that happen to certain characters. Be it murder, be it alien abduction, or simply an everyday Joe getting a promotion at his workplace. or buying a burger for that matter. You always have characters and you always have things happening to them. That's what a movie is about right? (Coming to think of it, can there be movies without players/actors/characters? Even documentaries for that matter have certain characters whom they showcase. Be it the panda or downtrodden cultures. As i said, i'm no pundit on movies, ask Maruti Koppola for more info on that. tee hee i just cudn't resist taking that dig at you :P) So we have plots, and plots have characters, and events happening to these characters. An intelligent/intricate plot is one where seeming disconnected events are weaved into a fine seamless web of happening. Seems like i'm talking mostly about mystery movies. But i support my statement by saying even in comedy movies, events still happen to characters, only here these events are funny. Same goes for thrillers/horrors. Now where is this all going?? what am i writing?? if you haven't already guessed, a li'l more patience, and i think you'll see it.
What i want to say is this. That movie plots could be quantified and analysed using a math basis. Call it Movie-Calculus if you like. A plot can be said to be a network of cause-effect relations, where the elements of this network are the events in the plot. For example, Jim Carrey getting a promotion is an event in Fun with Dick and Jane. This event, say A, causes his wife to quit her job, event B. Continuing this way, there probably could be an evaluation mechanism somewhere to say whether a certain plot is better or worse than a certain other. Or maybe this mechanism can be customised to the viewers choice. Coz sometimes, as intelligent as i might be, i just don't seem to get some movies, like this. Anyways. Coming back to the point, can this be done? seems quite possible to me. I'm not, i repeat not trying to quantify emotions. impossible to say movie X is funnier than movie Y. But what might be possible is to say whether X has a stronger plot than Y, or whether lose strings are tied. That is when a mystery is solved. Like in The Face on the Wall, a short story by EV Lucas, the plot is gripping, complete, and ends when the narrator stops the narration. But the final clincher is not the story, but the end note that the narrator leaves us with.
Now supposing something like this does turn up. Something which quantifies and defies the very nature of an experience like movie-going. Would it be ethical? I mean, if something like this did come up, then imagine yourself sitting at a movie theatre, analysing the movie frame by frame, and saying to yourself Oh so A->B, and C->D, but A->D. So does B->C? is that really what we want? or will it help us screen out the hundreds and hundreds of movies that these *ollywoods keep making day in and day out? so that the really good ones can be watched and enjoyed. Does it mean that Art forms can be "Scientified"? or that science is superior to art? or does the infeasibility of such a thing reiterate the age-old dichotomy, the one between science and art? lotsa questions.. think about em and comment me :P
March 5, 2006
Humanputers
that's the species of the new age. cross between humans and computers. have you ever wondered how similar both things are? one is a creature, while the other the first's creation. sometimes i wonder whether all things created are in the like of the creator? I do believe it says in the bible that god created man in his likeness. and i do believe man created computer in his likeness, even though it doesn't seem so. come to think of it, the gap between humans and computers will be almost non-existent in the coming few years. and i suppose even humans will then be classified into categories, based on their processing powers and execution statistics. even now, you can see many parallels between ppl and computers. for example:
-- the obvious examples of input/output for a human,
-- what Ross calls "interfacing": communication between two humans,
-- people who are only finite automaton as opposed to turing machines: they can understand only one word instructions
-- people who are interpreters as opposed to compilers. what interpreter-like ppl do is just take input from various sources and output the same information in a different language. yappers, blabbers, who don't in actuality do any work, but just get things done by embellishing information. the compiler-kind of ppl are the real workers. they get things done by actually doing them.
-- ppl who have very high processing powers but very low input/output frequencies. "interfacing" problems that is,
-- ppl like me who have only flash memory. very volatile, and flashed clean as soon as the job is finished.
-- ppl who have optical drives for memory. photographic memory that is.
-- computers that hog the bandwidth, like a glutton
-- computers that make do without a cabinet cover or even a decent dusting once in a while.. very much like me who hates to take a bath.
-- computers that are almost always in a loud-speaker mode; full volume in speakers, full volume in audio controllers... much like ppl who always shout. their normal speech itself is a li'l loud.
-- computers that get on with the minimum of resources: < 128 Mb RAM, < 40Gb, < pIII.... kinda minimalist approach...
If this continues i suppose later on there will be other attributes/functions as well that computers absorb from humans, or the other way round too:
-- civil war between computers. Windows machines will refuse to cooperate with non-Windows boxes..
-- humans will have to be fed through an internet pipeline (will IV drugs then be called IN drugs?)
-- ppl are already "wearing" computers. monitor screens so flexible that they can be integrated into fabric for clothing. wireless internet, portable power source (the battery), portable memory drives etc...
-- ppl meeting at a bar for the first time will "open" with questions like "asl?"
-- over-possesive husbands will insist their wives be dressed in burqha+firewall...
-- one will associate values to websites.. saying this one is elegantly dressed, that one is just too cheesy, or that the new ones are really getting spoilt... may be websites will then have to be "disciplined".. not to talk to strange i.p.'s and such....
and maybe, just maybe, computers will teach us obediance and tolerance... or, (god forbid!) learn how to love other computers!!
-- the obvious examples of input/output for a human,
-- what Ross calls "interfacing": communication between two humans,
-- people who are only finite automaton as opposed to turing machines: they can understand only one word instructions
-- people who are interpreters as opposed to compilers. what interpreter-like ppl do is just take input from various sources and output the same information in a different language. yappers, blabbers, who don't in actuality do any work, but just get things done by embellishing information. the compiler-kind of ppl are the real workers. they get things done by actually doing them.
-- ppl who have very high processing powers but very low input/output frequencies. "interfacing" problems that is,
-- ppl like me who have only flash memory. very volatile, and flashed clean as soon as the job is finished.
-- ppl who have optical drives for memory. photographic memory that is.
-- computers that hog the bandwidth, like a glutton
-- computers that make do without a cabinet cover or even a decent dusting once in a while.. very much like me who hates to take a bath.
-- computers that are almost always in a loud-speaker mode; full volume in speakers, full volume in audio controllers... much like ppl who always shout. their normal speech itself is a li'l loud.
-- computers that get on with the minimum of resources: < 128 Mb RAM, < 40Gb, < pIII.... kinda minimalist approach...
If this continues i suppose later on there will be other attributes/functions as well that computers absorb from humans, or the other way round too:
-- civil war between computers. Windows machines will refuse to cooperate with non-Windows boxes..
-- humans will have to be fed through an internet pipeline (will IV drugs then be called IN drugs?)
-- ppl are already "wearing" computers. monitor screens so flexible that they can be integrated into fabric for clothing. wireless internet, portable power source (the battery), portable memory drives etc...
-- ppl meeting at a bar for the first time will "open" with questions like "asl?"
-- over-possesive husbands will insist their wives be dressed in burqha+firewall...
-- one will associate values to websites.. saying this one is elegantly dressed, that one is just too cheesy, or that the new ones are really getting spoilt... may be websites will then have to be "disciplined".. not to talk to strange i.p.'s and such....
and maybe, just maybe, computers will teach us obediance and tolerance... or, (god forbid!) learn how to love other computers!!
February 20, 2006
what's with ppl anyways?
college life rulz. and then again, college life sux. why does everybody have to make everything such a big issue? i mean, poor couples, let them alone! first of all, none of us guys have the guts to ask out a girl, but when some poor desperate guy does manage to gather pluck and take the dive, we sit and hate his guts. and then there are the guys who just can't stop acting wierd around girls. what's with them? i mean in the hostel they are all friendly friendly and yo my bro, but as soon as they detect the presence of a girl they become like this snake who's all ready to bite the head off the next guy they meet. and of course, they are the cute cuddly bears to the respective girl. i mean c'mon!!! whatever happened to yo my bro? for that matter how does the mere presence of a girl matter so much in a guys' behaviour? is it healthy at all?
and then of course there are the other kind of guys, the girl haters. can't stand even the sight of a girl, unless of course the girl also has similar interests at heart as the boys. and what' s more, can't stand even the sight of male friends interacting with such specimens of the hated species. why? just because she's a girl. what has she ever done to the guy? absolutely nothing. then why that sheer hatred? dunno!
yet another kind of guy is the one that keeps mooning over what he should have done at one particular moment during one particular semester with one particular girl, and how he missed his chance, and where he might have been if only he had enough courage to do whatever that particular thing was. and now since he had a chance and blew it, he gets to be the defacto victim of leg-pulling among his other loser friends, who just sit around and do nothing at all all day, except of course whining about why they ever became what they became.
i suppose the best kind of guy is the one who's the least bit interested in girls at all. don't get me wrong, not that kinda guy, but one who's either just more interested in something else, like photography or electronics or living a life for themselves, than trying to run around girls... absolutely no worries... aah.. as J.Hendrix rightly sang, "No Woman, No Cry"!!!
but seriously? i mean does that kinda guy have really no worries? what does he do when he needs "emotional support" or a shoulder to cry on? oh crap! i forgot we are guys! we are supposed to be total morons, who don't know what's the meaning of caring, absolutely zer0 EQ! i guess, in the end, all guys are really the same :(
and then of course there are the other kind of guys, the girl haters. can't stand even the sight of a girl, unless of course the girl also has similar interests at heart as the boys. and what' s more, can't stand even the sight of male friends interacting with such specimens of the hated species. why? just because she's a girl. what has she ever done to the guy? absolutely nothing. then why that sheer hatred? dunno!
yet another kind of guy is the one that keeps mooning over what he should have done at one particular moment during one particular semester with one particular girl, and how he missed his chance, and where he might have been if only he had enough courage to do whatever that particular thing was. and now since he had a chance and blew it, he gets to be the defacto victim of leg-pulling among his other loser friends, who just sit around and do nothing at all all day, except of course whining about why they ever became what they became.
i suppose the best kind of guy is the one who's the least bit interested in girls at all. don't get me wrong, not that kinda guy, but one who's either just more interested in something else, like photography or electronics or living a life for themselves, than trying to run around girls... absolutely no worries... aah.. as J.Hendrix rightly sang, "No Woman, No Cry"!!!
but seriously? i mean does that kinda guy have really no worries? what does he do when he needs "emotional support" or a shoulder to cry on? oh crap! i forgot we are guys! we are supposed to be total morons, who don't know what's the meaning of caring, absolutely zer0 EQ! i guess, in the end, all guys are really the same :(
February 17, 2006
Four guys, two pc's and three tables!
ever saw the world changing right in front of your eyes? imagine this. you go to sleep peacefully, dreaming about heavenly damsels at your feet and all of a sudden there's a disturbance in your own private li'l eden: staccato ricochet of bullets fired from a Avtomat Kalashnikova model 1947 and digitally garbled radio commands (with an effected accent) like "Terror-aistes win". There comes a time when you hafta realise you aren't sleeping anymore, and what's more, there are aliens in your room! how else could there be sounds of CS in a room with no computers? so i dazedly peep from under my blanket thinking "who's this #@!%@#$ who disturbs my slumber", and whaddya know! it's 7even, complete with pc and plastic arm chair!! from one dazed soul to another, i ask him what's he doing in my room, and he half-consciously tells me what i already know - CS apparently! ya right! didn't know that! Thoughts of "Invasion of privacy!" and "that too while i'm sleeping!" "who knows what anybody might have seen!!!" immediately jump to my confused, suddenly racing mind. And then i remember that poor Vamsi's LAN wasn't working for the last week, and that even the help desk guys couldn't help it. It's ok, it's just the lan problem, it's temporary, things will settle down... All i need is some time to clear my mind and calm down. So i call mrinal and sit down for yet another of our usual bakar sessions. Ever wonder how pleasing it always is to just talk? talk talk talk, be it sense/nonsense, be it english/half-known hindi/unknown telugu/.. you get my drift right? just the knowledge that another soul is as equally thalue (read "bevars" in telugu) and willing to kaat bakar as you is enough to fill those moments in a day when you don't want to do anything at all... so there i am, kaating bakar as usual, trying to forget momentarily what happened just few minutes ago, but no! the day has yet more surprises for me. coz that exact moment who else but flake appears, (the aforementioned 7even's roommate) that too running a big plywood table along the corridor... and even before i know it, that desk too is part of my room's furniture, along with it's permanent resident, \\cynosure!
so there i am, with two gaming-addicted pc-owning most-laziest making-their-room-even-dirtier-than-mine junior roommates, and their pc's, and their tables, in my small li'l room. minus my original roommate, the ominpresent but everabsent Rahul!!! So i do the next best thing: convince myself this is all for good! i mean till yesterday, i haven't had a pc, but now i have two! wheeee!!!! and of course these guys are not too bad afterall, it's just that they forgot there is something called a world, and that the whole universe is not just a map. moreover, i get to boss over 'em hee hee[evil grin >x)]... so i guess it's a happy ending after all. otherwise i wouldn't have been able to post this blog! chalo then, cya l8r. the sublime pleasures of bouncing balls [ping pong balls, you idiot x( ] by bobbing bats are just too much to resist! eeeh.....[munch munch] so longfolks!
so there i am, with two gaming-addicted pc-owning most-laziest making-their-room-even-dirtier-than-mine junior roommates, and their pc's, and their tables, in my small li'l room. minus my original roommate, the ominpresent but everabsent Rahul!!! So i do the next best thing: convince myself this is all for good! i mean till yesterday, i haven't had a pc, but now i have two! wheeee!!!! and of course these guys are not too bad afterall, it's just that they forgot there is something called a world, and that the whole universe is not just a map. moreover, i get to boss over 'em hee hee[evil grin >x)]... so i guess it's a happy ending after all. otherwise i wouldn't have been able to post this blog! chalo then, cya l8r. the sublime pleasures of bouncing balls [ping pong balls, you idiot x( ] by bobbing bats are just too much to resist! eeeh.....[munch munch] so longfolks!
February 16, 2006
what to do what 2 do??
I somehow have this feeling that whenever i sit and try to come up with a new blog, all i see is blackness all around me, and i end up wailing for something or the other...
let's try to be different this time. I promise myself i will not cry this blog! [:D] guess when was the last time i took a bath? tee heee you wouldn't believe it!! and then there are the cargos, (for the uninformed, a 14-pocket pair of beret-green cargos.. my fav[:)]) which literally conceal the bad odours, so you see, it really doesn't matter. But then what do i do all the 24 hours when there's not even bathing to take into account? (i'll let you in on a secret.. it is still a mystery even to me!!!!). coz when ever you can find the time to come around to my room, you'd only see two juniors rapping furiously on the keyboards (juniors?? oh well.. that's another story..) and either me sleeping on one of the two cots, or two TT bats missing [;)]. Steve tells me i play quite well, but you know Steve. One shouldn't believe his words [:P] So here's my daily schedule:
cycle:
-- wake up strictly whenever I feel like (my first commandment: thou shalt sleep as long as thy wishes!)
-- check immediately if i feel like sleeping again (second commandment: thou shalt not break the first commandment :P)
-- only when i'm thoroughly convinced i really can't sleep anymore, wake up and brush my teeth (in the process, if (self.toothpaste == empty) then {neighbour.toothpaste.steal();} )
-- after stealing their toothpaste, check with neighbour if he is willing to lend me some money (you never know.. ppl are really good in my wing :D)
-- somehow scrape up 40 rs. for the day. enuff for two square meals. i never believed in spending luxuriously anyway... and ppl, don't laugh! collecting b*****s is an honourable way of milching you guys
-- if time is anywhere near late afternoon or early evening, then TT Suit Up! (haaaaa haaaaa : ) and rush to SAC (no no this is not the hay sack, which of course is always coveted, but you see, i just got up from there.. "this is sports and cultural activities centre oops sorry, STUDENTS ACTIVITIES CENTRE as my ever reliable roomy points out :P "). our college has a thing for naming the buildings in the most awkward manner. stick around till i get my number (mera number zaroor aayega) or simply bully the juniors (one of the few advantages of being a senior student) into giving me a slot to play... play on till i am dead tired.. be it TT or even nowadays Badminton sometimes!! srsly can't believe myself.
-- if i'm already fully replenished (tummy wise) and it's not the time for TT anymore, then sit and watch junior roommates playing DOTA or CS... sometimes i mistake Computer Science for Counter Strike!!
-- make serious plans of what to do tomorrow... (plans include lofty ideals of working for BTP as well as practical decisions like which ball to play TT with - orange or white?)
-- oh i almost forgot !! never never say no when somebody calls me to the canteen.. you never know how condescending ppl can get in the wee hours of the night!!! i mean aloo.mutter.sandwhich + ( veg.maggie pyaaz.paratha ) = another square meal, for free!!!
-- by this time, i'd already feel too tired and sleepy, so never in the least bit refrain from going to sleep (oh btw, you never know the time..) i've slept at all kinds of different times: 5 am, 8 am, 2 pm, 6pm, 9pm, 1 am - and all in the space of two weeks!
-- repeat cycle.
let's try to be different this time. I promise myself i will not cry this blog! [:D] guess when was the last time i took a bath? tee heee you wouldn't believe it!! and then there are the cargos, (for the uninformed, a 14-pocket pair of beret-green cargos.. my fav[:)]) which literally conceal the bad odours, so you see, it really doesn't matter. But then what do i do all the 24 hours when there's not even bathing to take into account? (i'll let you in on a secret.. it is still a mystery even to me!!!!). coz when ever you can find the time to come around to my room, you'd only see two juniors rapping furiously on the keyboards (juniors?? oh well.. that's another story..) and either me sleeping on one of the two cots, or two TT bats missing [;)]. Steve tells me i play quite well, but you know Steve. One shouldn't believe his words [:P] So here's my daily schedule:
cycle:
-- wake up strictly whenever I feel like (my first commandment: thou shalt sleep as long as thy wishes!)
-- check immediately if i feel like sleeping again (second commandment: thou shalt not break the first commandment :P)
-- only when i'm thoroughly convinced i really can't sleep anymore, wake up and brush my teeth (in the process, if (self.toothpaste == empty) then {neighbour.toothpaste.steal();} )
-- after stealing their toothpaste, check with neighbour if he is willing to lend me some money (you never know.. ppl are really good in my wing :D)
-- somehow scrape up 40 rs. for the day. enuff for two square meals. i never believed in spending luxuriously anyway... and ppl, don't laugh! collecting b*****s is an honourable way of milching you guys
-- if time is anywhere near late afternoon or early evening, then TT Suit Up! (haaaaa haaaaa : ) and rush to SAC (no no this is not the hay sack, which of course is always coveted, but you see, i just got up from there.. "this is sports and cultural activities centre oops sorry, STUDENTS ACTIVITIES CENTRE as my ever reliable roomy points out :P "). our college has a thing for naming the buildings in the most awkward manner. stick around till i get my number (mera number zaroor aayega) or simply bully the juniors (one of the few advantages of being a senior student) into giving me a slot to play... play on till i am dead tired.. be it TT or even nowadays Badminton sometimes!! srsly can't believe myself.
-- if i'm already fully replenished (tummy wise) and it's not the time for TT anymore, then sit and watch junior roommates playing DOTA or CS... sometimes i mistake Computer Science for Counter Strike!!
-- make serious plans of what to do tomorrow... (plans include lofty ideals of working for BTP as well as practical decisions like which ball to play TT with - orange or white?)
-- oh i almost forgot !! never never say no when somebody calls me to the canteen.. you never know how condescending ppl can get in the wee hours of the night!!! i mean aloo.mutter.sandwhich + ( veg.maggie pyaaz.paratha ) = another square meal, for free!!!
-- by this time, i'd already feel too tired and sleepy, so never in the least bit refrain from going to sleep (oh btw, you never know the time..) i've slept at all kinds of different times: 5 am, 8 am, 2 pm, 6pm, 9pm, 1 am - and all in the space of two weeks!
-- repeat cycle.
January 8, 2006
Eternal Laziness of the Brainless Mind
have you ever felt trapped? like in a cage? when you realise that you'll be trapped there for eternity, the cage sorta gets comfortable. well, at least no one's gonna invade your space. but does that stop you from trying to escape from the cage? i guess not. then why is it only me that doesn't want to get out of the cage? since childhood, i've blamed everything on my laziness. it's like a cushion that dampens any impact. i feel like i've always walked the shortcut. the route that's shorter, but has a no entry sign outside it, partially hidden in the thickets surrounding it. the route's that not proper. and i've always come through. maybe even a li'l late, maybe missed a few checkpoints. but i've always come through, even though that wasn't the route i was supposed to follow. but right now, i feel like the shorter route has come to a dead end. the route that i've always trusted, or even just implicitly assumed that will get me out. and it's too late to turn back, and start over again, from the last junction in life. and hence, the feeling of being trapped. as to laziness, well that's one thing that i've always been attributed, 'my thing', even from early childhood. and i am lazy, i agree, but as to the cause of that laziness, well i'm still pondering over it after all these years. but being so accustomed to laziness, i've always taken the route that needs lesser work. that is the shorter route. and that has been my cage. trapped in my laziness, coz i'm too lazy to get out. does it sound too dramatic? i think it does. and yet, it sounds so true to me. like i was saying, after so many years, it gets very comfortable to stay lazy. 'comfortable' being in the short run, and not in the long run, which i know and agree. but does that encourage me to get up and try to unlock the cage? no. there's this knowledge at the back of the mind, which says that i will probably find a way out, if only i try hard enough. that brings us to my question:
when you know you can break free from this cage anytime you want, and when you're feeling comfortable inside the cage, why the hurry to break open?
this sounds so much like an addict saying he can quit whenever he wants to. and i despise myself for sounding like that. but what has happened to the world? why is everyone in such a goddamn hurry all the time? why push things when you can get them done all the same without pushing? i hate standing in queues. an improvement on queues is the token system, where you are specifically called upon when it's your time. and something like that should be implemented in life too. somebody should keep telling you what to do. being spoonfed is not so bad afterall. leaves your brain free for all the other things you want to think about. and i guess this is the result when you're spoonfed and mollycoddled all the time, because you're the younger one, the oh-so-cuter one, and sooner than you can blink, you are no more a child. you've been pushed into adulthood. all of a sudden, you're given responsibilities and are expected to uphold them, notwithstanding yesterday when they 'naturally' assumed you wouldn't be able to do a thing by yourself. i hate this. i can blame everyone and anyone for me having turned out as i have. it was the environment. it was the 'schooling'. it was the 'upbringing'. it was the 'friends circle'. (my personal fav - it's the 'system'). what you can see right now is the shorter route at work. blame everybody else, it makes work so much more easier. 'a jumble of nerves and contradictions'. that's what i feel like, and i really donno what Voltaire would say about that.
how can anyone like to work? pursuing a hobby, i can understand. having to work at a job to support livelihood, i can understand. and there are always the few fortunate ones, who are paid to enjoy. even that i can understand. but how is it that one who has no interest at all in a certain kind of work, given half a chance would quit it - how is it such a person eventually comes around to actually liking that work? stuck with it, trying to get free - ok. stuck with it, so no choice, have to live with it - ok. but stuck with it, so might as well like it, even though i have absolutely no interest in it - NOT OK!! doesn't it mean that one's changing one's values and tastes? doesn't it mean that one had definite opinions until now, but had to change them only because one's being bullied into?? i really don't get it. how else can millions of software engineers still go about their dreary lives every day of it? how is it that these millions inspire another million parents, who insist that their child too become one of these worker ants? is it fair at all???
when you know you can break free from this cage anytime you want, and when you're feeling comfortable inside the cage, why the hurry to break open?
this sounds so much like an addict saying he can quit whenever he wants to. and i despise myself for sounding like that. but what has happened to the world? why is everyone in such a goddamn hurry all the time? why push things when you can get them done all the same without pushing? i hate standing in queues. an improvement on queues is the token system, where you are specifically called upon when it's your time. and something like that should be implemented in life too. somebody should keep telling you what to do. being spoonfed is not so bad afterall. leaves your brain free for all the other things you want to think about. and i guess this is the result when you're spoonfed and mollycoddled all the time, because you're the younger one, the oh-so-cuter one, and sooner than you can blink, you are no more a child. you've been pushed into adulthood. all of a sudden, you're given responsibilities and are expected to uphold them, notwithstanding yesterday when they 'naturally' assumed you wouldn't be able to do a thing by yourself. i hate this. i can blame everyone and anyone for me having turned out as i have. it was the environment. it was the 'schooling'. it was the 'upbringing'. it was the 'friends circle'. (my personal fav - it's the 'system'). what you can see right now is the shorter route at work. blame everybody else, it makes work so much more easier. 'a jumble of nerves and contradictions'. that's what i feel like, and i really donno what Voltaire would say about that.
how can anyone like to work? pursuing a hobby, i can understand. having to work at a job to support livelihood, i can understand. and there are always the few fortunate ones, who are paid to enjoy. even that i can understand. but how is it that one who has no interest at all in a certain kind of work, given half a chance would quit it - how is it such a person eventually comes around to actually liking that work? stuck with it, trying to get free - ok. stuck with it, so no choice, have to live with it - ok. but stuck with it, so might as well like it, even though i have absolutely no interest in it - NOT OK!! doesn't it mean that one's changing one's values and tastes? doesn't it mean that one had definite opinions until now, but had to change them only because one's being bullied into?? i really don't get it. how else can millions of software engineers still go about their dreary lives every day of it? how is it that these millions inspire another million parents, who insist that their child too become one of these worker ants? is it fair at all???
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