hello world!

ya i know it's cliched, but living in this ne0-cyber 'techie' insti, you get used to 'hello world' a lot.

neways, hello ppl. welcome to my world, my space.

i like to think of it as bizarre, dark and mysterious, but finally it might look like a lot of silly whimsical fabrication...

i really don't care.

i am me.

ppl love me, ppl hate me, ppl can't even stand me sometimes. same goes with me. (i.e, i luv me, i hate me, i can't stand me, and not the other way round...) i like to think of myself as big tank with a lot of potential output, but i kinda have trouble figuring out what that output is. for all i know, that tank might turn out to be a sewage collection sump! or might be the crystal clear pool of elixir, which gives life to the gods! ah, fancy is but my sly friend, offering a hand for me to step on, just so that the hand can be taken away the moment i step on it.

come to think of it, i really have trouble finding out what i did with my life all this while. a dormant bear whose full potential is yet to be seen? or a lab rat whose faith in life has completely vanished? or just a deer sampling the grass in this country, before moving along with the herd? i dunno. bullah ki jaana mein kaun hoon!

a dry leaf fluttering in the wind, an ant driven by the herd mentality, a mindless automaton. i envy them. no need to think, no need to take decisions, no need to take responsibility. i hate taking responsibilities. i've been fed on 'guidance' and 'advice' for so long, i don't know what it's like to stand up for your word, for your thought. coz i never did. a vicious cycle i say, to be spoonfed. i haven't yet found the way to break that mould. and have no idea whether i'll ever be able to!

so much for today, so much for 'morrow.
life goes on, be it gay or sorrow!
none hath the power to still time,
for none can cange the rhyme.