Digital Denial

As i sit here postponing my most urgent tasks so that i can sit here and do nothing, i can't but help thinking that the one thing i'll miss the most after graduating from this college will be its LAN. Around 3 to 4 TeraBytes of the most diverse media one can find to waste time on, is not something to be taken lightly. All genres of all digital media: be it movies, be it anime, music, e-books, TV series, games, whatever you want, we have it here. Or atleast we can, in theory. From the most sentimental, heart-rending to the most grotesque, gut-wrenching. From the most completely illogical and hilariously funny to the most genuinely involving and mysterious. Oscar winners, Grammy winners, Raspberry winners, Top 100, Bottom 100... you get the point.

Millions of megabytes of mind-numbing media. To waste time on, to ponder on, to pass judgement on. Or just lose yourself in. Imagine yourself waking up early one morning just to check whether this great movie you put up for download has finished yet or not. Or falling in love with this "simply too good to be true" music score. Or banging your head against the table so hard after you've read an e-book. None of these things is an exaggeration. I have seen this happen. In an age and place where we can't yet teleport to our most favourite country, we still have all the tv series or all the software that releases there... pirated. That, is again, a different issue. If one were to restrict all media on the lan to be strictly copyrighted versions, maybe there'd be total anarchy. Not so much because we have to pay for those things as much as because we just won't have that much media for so many people to gorge on. They'd become zombies, with pcs that don't have anything to show.

Or, on the other hand, they could make themselves useful. Like go out and play sports for a change. Or even read! No this is not wishful thinking. Try cutting out a student from his pc, and see what happens. He wont be able to bear it for a week. But after that, he'll realize there are other things which are actually much more useful. Like going to the lab and getting in touch with people and what's going on. Or go to the canteen and get some fresh air. Play some sports. Even library for that matter is not out of the question. Atleast he'll be OUT OF THE FRIKKIN ROOM!!! Which is asking a lot out of pc-addicts right now. Like me. The moment i get a pc, what do i do? Login to Orkut. Of all the most lowly, desperate-attempt-to-get-attention tactics, i login to Orkut. And logout within 5 minutes, just to login three or four more times in the day. Why? because i don't want to do anything else. Because this was fun. Because this doesn't need you to do any work. Because this is an easy way to waste time, without having to think on what to waste. Because this way, i don't need to think about the most pressing issues in my life. Because i can live in denial peacefully. Which I'm guessing is the situation with most people in the hostel. Bear in mind, i'm not being judgemental or evangelist. I'm just stating what's with people these days.

And the digital media is just as good a place as any to live in denial. Somehow, this scares me. What did we set out to do, and what did we become? Even a failure is not as bad as one who totally denies that he didn't win. Or that he didn't try in the first place. And the reasoning behind this is that "because i didn't try, you can't really say i lost". That is really sad.

Is it just me? or is it really that there's sadness everywhere? Maybe it's the graduation blues, maybe its the project deadlines. Or is it just that everyone's so dissatisfied with what they've done/didn't do that they've become just sad shells of once energetic and colourful lifes? Or am i plain turning paranoid? I don't know. Another thing i don't know is why i post so many questions on my blog as opposed to answers to some of the things.

Try an interesting question: Ten years from now, looking at a person, will you be able to tell whether you've seen that person in college, as opposed to say recalling whether you've seen a particular movie in college? I know i'll remember more movies than people. Atleast whether i've seen a movie as opposed to whether i've seen a person. Fine, go ahead and judge me. Not like i care. But just be sure you're not like me either.

Is attaching feelings and memories with digital media really justified? I mean a pen or a gift somebody gave you, I can understand. You have feelings for it. But digital media? That which can be erased with a click of a mouse? Is it worth attaching so many feelings and memories? I know people who still can't get over the games they've played, or songs they've listened to once upon a time. Is that wrong? again, i don't know.